Sex Without Guilt in the 21st Century (Albert Ellis)

I have been reading this book the last few weeks (slowly). It is very interesting and confirms many things that I have been thinking about for a long time. Mainly about the biological drives of the human. Like Dr. Fischer of the University of California said, "We were not built to be happy, but to reproduce."

The book Sex Without Guilt in the 21st Century covers a huge range of sexual issues from premature ejaculation (OMG He said it!) to sexual fascism (very interesting) to women who feel they are unable to climax (who usually can but have some outside pressure). I just want to share a couple quotes with you all. The book is filled with awesome cultural commentary that is completely appropriate.

"...we are consciously horrified by the thought of premarital sex relations and adultery, yet unconsciously envy, laugh with, and even applaud fornicators and adulterers. Or we consciously think abortion is permissible - and still castigate ourselves for having or aiding with one. . . .

"We want to be oh so casual and cool about conveying the facts of life; instead, we tend to stammer, blush, look out the window, paw restlessly at the floor with our feet, or otherwise coming to direct, matter-of-fact terms with the subject we are trying to present. But children, of course, sense our feelings as well as our words. And telling them that sex is a perfectly natural and beautiful part of life while you are humhawing to beat all get-out is like trying to persuade them that you love your mother-in-law while you are using her picture as a spit target."

On the ethics of sex:

"Sexual Behavior is an aspect of human behavior; and although it is an important aspect, it is not unique, special, and all-important (though I may treat it as such, haha). Indeed, it cannot be divorced from socializing, relating, communicating, and various other forms of human contact and collaboration. Consequently, a sex act is immoral, unethical, or irrational not merely because it is sexual, but because it is also in some respect nonsexually destructive or inefficient. Even rape, which by practically any code is distinctly immoral, is not wrong because it involves intercourse, but because it consists of forceful, freedom-depriving, injurious intercourse; and it is its breach of human consent rather than its sexuality that makes it immoral."

I'll leave it at that for now. I will try to get a post up about hand jobs (boys and girls) in the next week.